A lil more indepth

I don't like living here anymore. I want to be with him.. but unless I marry him I can't. Dont get me wrong I want to marry him, but the right way and when we can afford it. I just pray everynight that he gets stationed back on the east coast. It will be a lot easier for us; same time zone, less travel time so less money spent, can see each other more.That boy means more to me than anything else has, I feel incomplete without him by my side. I love him very much, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.
My dreams tho.. are contradicting that, and its getting to the point of me waking up in tears. I want to get married, have a family and grow old, my dreams are that he is not coming to visit, that he is spending his time with someone else, and that he is using me as a game. I want the dreams to stop, but my headaches are also bothering me..

So, about my lover man!
He is perfect, smart,handsome, caring,outgoing. and so much more, He is always there when I need him, and he cares about what I have to say(most of the time), We get along perfectly, we have so much in common,
The first time we were together, at lunch we ordered the same thing kinda weird at first but as that weekend kept going it become known that we just had so much in common and that we just "clicked". Every time we talk its something new, and were always laughing and having a good time. I miss him, I miss being with him, I miss being able to hold his hand and kiss him, I miss falling asleep in his arms at night, I miss waking up next to him, and I miss the sex. I cant describe how much I truly miss him, and I want him here so bad. I wish I could have him, and when he comes to visit its going to be great, but him leaving is going to break my heart. I'm going to have to get use to doing everything alone again, and just being able to see him over web cam, and talking to him on the phone has to be enough, well to me its not enough. I would wait for him for as long as needed but having him, and not being able to be with him is crazy.
Sex: OMG! its amazing with him. and my sex life now still awesome, I feel confident with him. Its amazing, I cant wait to be with him again. He is great at what he does and its a total turn on that he knows how to please me.
okay enough with that.

I love him.
and that's enough to get me thru the days.