Waiting on a day I shouldn't be

Okay, so with love being in Cali, that means him being 3 hours behind my time here in Fl. Since we began dating we have always been able to work something out to be able to see each other and talk as much as possible, well since he went back from his debt in KW, he has been on nights and working 2-like 11ish his time so that means 5 to almost 3am my time, and me I normally work 11-7 my time, so by the time he even wakes up I am already at work, and I don't get a break also when I am getting off work, he is already there. It sucks its def. not fun to really only be able to communicate via text all day until the weekend comes and even then I sometimes have to work weekends. point being: IT SUCKS!

I love talking to him, and when I do, I feel so much better about myself and about everything going on. Today being Saturday and me not working, today is really the main day of the week we get to talk and guess what? He is working.. Im not mad, bc he said he has some military duty thing to do when he called this morning, but that was at 11:40 this morning and its now 8pm and he is still there. Im upset bc I miss him, and I really wanted to talk to him today, I know when he gets home I will be able to see//talk to him, but its the fact that I have basically waited all day to do so, and I still have to wait longer. I know its not his fault and I would never put that on him, I just wish he could go home already I mean do they have to control everyday of his life?!

I read a post on the website for miltary wives,fiances,and girlfriends(cinchouse.com) that I am a member of, and it was about "the right age for marriage?" and as I began reading I started to glow bc I know I am not alone of being young(19 almost 20) and wanting to get married. I really want to spend the rest of my life with Love and I hope he still feels the same, no reason for him to change his mind, but sometimes I do get scared. I don't want to be with anyone else, and I know that he is the "one" for me. He put in for orders the other day he told me he put a couple places in Florida, and I really hope he gets one, bc I wouldnt think twice about moving in with him. I have told him that I wanted to live together a bit before we set a date to get married, I think its so we can get to know each other more on a more personal level, by living with someone I know you can learn so much more from them by dealing with all the pressures of life on your own. I think it will help us have a more successful marriage, and will show us that no matter how bad things get or how tough we feel the pressures are that together we can do and get through anything!

I don't know if I ever told Love this, but when I see him and I hear his voice I have never felt happier and safe. He means everything to me, and even though I say I am scared to tell my parents if we get engaged on his August visit, I know I will when the time is right and that will be shortly after, I don't and can't hid my love for him, if they don't support me then I know that I have to go into this marriage without there support, but I know this is the right and most perfect choice for me. If they don't support me, I am not sure if we can have a big or glamorous wedding, but I don't think either of us want something big. Something small is perfect, I would def. fly his family down (I want to get married in Fl) and be there, I want to get to know his family, I have never met them and hopefully as we have talked about I can go up there for the holidays this year, and finally be able to met them. I hope they approve of me, bc that would mean a lot to me. He gets to met my mom and sister when he comes in August, and I know they will love them I just hope he feels the same about them. My mother is someone I don't know if I would be where I am todya without her and my sister drives me crazy but I do love her and she is the life of a party!

I hope Love gets off work soon, bc I miss him so much. Oh and I am gonna start and change somethings, If its not life and death Im not gonna think to much of it, I don't wanna fight or bicker with him, I know we don't really fight, and yes he can be joking abotu something and I will take it the wrong way, but Im done, I am gonna try to just always think light unless other wise needed. I love him and I hate when were not perfect.

I love you J!
XXoo

Get home soon PLZ